Wednesday Is Still Going To Happen
How will you handle it?
You have ADHD. That’s not going anywhere.
The following is the shitty reality of many adults with ADHD. We hate structure, and so we are tired of hearing about it, even though it’s crucial.
We don’t want to think about ‘to do’ lists anymore because they make us overwhelmed when we look at them.
We suck at prioritization, and we have no confidence that we’ll even do the important thing anyway, so it becomes a thing we avoid.
And we suck at using a calendar. Our calendar apps aren’t “true”. Instead, it’s filled with some appointments, some hopefully things we might do, and some placeholders for things that we want to remember, but it’s not an accurate reflection of our lives for that day.
And we’ve written off many of the tools that are known to work for ADHD because “I’ve tried that before and it doesn’t work for me.” My opinion, and my personal experience, tells me that I’ve tried many things a few times and they didn’t work, but when I kept at it, they ultimately found their way into the “works for me” pile. ADHDers have a gift for trying a thing one time and declaring it “not for them.” Another hardcore opinion from my 50 years of life experience as a human with ADHD/depression…every single thing doesn’t work at some point. The best of systems still has it’s shitty days.
We are the kings and queens of not doing the thing that is proven to be supremely beneficial for us.
What I can say with complete authority: No matter what you do, no matter what skills you have in place, no matter what your mood state is, no matter what your outlook on life is in the moment…Wednesday is still going to happen. I speak more about it in episode 235 of the ADHD Big Brother podcast.
Are you a single parent like myself? Then you know that the world gives zero shits about your mood. You have shit to do. Did you not get a meditation in today? Doesn’t matter, you still have shit to do. Are you feeling sad today? Oh well, you have shit to do. Do you feel overwhelmed and anxious? Too bad…your kids still need your help, your ride, your food, your bedtime…you have shit to do.
This is what helps me: other people. Community. While I can teach you the skills to get shit done, but it really doesn’t matter that you’ve learned them if you don’t use them. Those skills have to be practiced. Even when you don’t need them. Weekly planning is an art form that can help make Wednesday easier. Learning how to interact with your to do list, even on days when things are easy and calm, is important for when the time comes when the shit is hitting the fan and you need to make decisions.
The best way to practice those skills is with others. Hills are never as steep when you walk them with a friend. I love that saying. It’s true. Body doubling. Accountability clubs. Check-ins. These things work amazingly for ADHDers.
In my opinion, there is no such thing as “I’ll get some help when my world stops being so chaotic”. Get help now, WHILE your world is chaotic.
Go join a community of people that are doing the things you want to do. Are you a writer? Join a writer group and hold each other accountable. Got ADHD and can’t get a handle on your daily chaos? Join our membership community and during your complimentary coaching call, I’ll get in the sandbox with you and help you out. This is my area of expertise. I can help you wrangle the chaos.