Taskfirmations
How to make those affirmations stick
For those who follow the ADHD Big Brother podcast, you know that I have struggled with the concept of affirmations. We adults with ADHD tend to have such a long history of negative self talk, which piles onto the negative feedback of the authority figures in our lives.
“Why can’t you sit still, be quiet, stop interrupting, stay focused, finish your homework, remember your chores….” It’s no wonder many adults with ADHD also have depression.
So it makes sense that when I would attempt affirmations that my brain would cut me off mid-sentence to remind me of this futile attempt.
“I love myself”, I would say to the mirror.
“You’re so full of shit”, my mirror would respond.
“I love myself”, I would say again.
“Really?! What about your 20’s…what about the nicotine addiction? All the drinking? All those drugs? That’s not loving yourself, you idiot!”
“I love myself”, I would attempt again.
“Oh, we can do this all day…” my brain would say.
My brain has all these data points, all this proof, of why I don’t love myself. It stands to reason, then, that in order to get on the other end of this I would need some data points to the contrary. The questions I started asking myself were things like “If I were a person who loved themself, what would I do?”
And so birthed into the world the taskfirmation.
A taskfirmation is a task that a person does that is in alignment with the affirmation that we wished were true.
I really love playing with this stuff, and rather than paying lip service to my mirror to try and convince myself of something that I don’t believe is true, I create new data points for my brain to suck on…er, I mean, process and accept. For this article, I’ve compiled a list of 5 affirmations and the taskfirmations that might be in alignment with that affirmation. See if this resonates:
Affirmation: "I am worthy of love and respect."
Taskfirmation: Write a kind note to yourself or treat yourself to your favorite meal, recognizing your own worth. DATA POINT!Affirmation: "I am strong and resilient."
Taskfirmation: Engage in physical exercise, like a short workout or a brisk walk, to embody strength and resilience. LOOK WHAT I DID, BRAIN!Affirmation: "I choose to focus on what I can control."
Taskfirmation: Organize a cluttered space for five minutes, reinforcing control over your environment. SUCK ON THAT DATA POINT, BRAIN!Affirmation: "I am grateful for my life and all that it offers."
Taskfirmation: Write down three things you're grateful for today and reflect on why they matter to you. LOOK WHO’S GRATEFUL, BRAIN!Affirmation: "I am in charge of my happiness."
Taskfirmation: Plan and do one activity you enjoy, like watching a favorite show or indulging in a hobby. MUH-FUGGIN DATA!
One of the keys to this, for me, is self awareness in the moment. It helps to remind my brain exactly what is going on, lest it forget to note it in the files!
I am a big fan of the “doing”. Many of us ADHDers struggle with the doing of the stuff. If that’s you, and you are stuck in the overwhelm of it all, I can help. We do our best when we have externalized accountability on top of the ADHD coaching, and that’s one of the secret sauces of my creation: Community Coaching. You can check it out in December for 10 days for $10 if it’s of interest to you! Share it with your ADHD friends, because it works/it’s working! Here’s the link to check it out.
In the meantime, my challenge to you is to figure out an affirmation that you would like to adopt, and comment what your taskfirmations will be for it! And I’ll ADHD coach your face off on it right now…answer this: when will you do it? I dare you to tell me exactly when you will do your taskfirmation. And if it’s anything like “tomorrow at some point” or “later today” or “before sunday”…I already know you won’t do it.
Quick ADHD coaching tip: in order to achieve a thing that you aren’t naturally excited to do, or that you might struggle to get started on, determine the exact day/time that you will do it, and put it in your calendar, set an alarm, answer the question: “How will you remember to do the task at that time?” And you will be 85% more likely to do it. (and yes, I made up 85%…it’s more like 100000000000% more likely, but who’s going to believe that number. 85% has more buyability.)
And if you wish to hear me talk about this on the most recent episode of the ADHD Big Brother Podcast, here’s the link to Episode 172 - Taskfirmations and Being Cool With Yourself