How We Can Help Each Other
Are you an adult with ADHD Skull Spaghetti? What's your struggle?
Accountability is hard!
Doing the work our therapist gives us? Tough. Following through on what our ADHD coach suggests? Also tough. Sticking to a system long enough to see results? Nearly impossible on our own.
It’s not that we don’t want to follow through. It’s that our brains fight us every step of the way. We get excited about a plan, a strategy, or a new approach—only to watch it fade into the background after a few days. The shittiest part? We know what we should be doing, we just can’t get ourselves to do it. And then we beat ourselves up for “should-ing”. It’s a craptastic swirl of feeling bad about ourselves.
That’s where accountability comes in.
Real, external accountability isn’t just about reminders. It’s about:
✅ Having a structure that keeps you engaged even when motivation disappears.
✅ Being part of something that makes it harder to quit on yourself.
✅ Getting the support you need when you start to fall off track.
The Hardest Thing to Do Alone? Follow Through.
Therapists give us tools. Coaches give us strategies. But it’s on us to use them.
That’s why I created this free resource. I’m Russ Jones, your ADHD Big Brother, and I’m here to make ADHD less overwhelming and more actionable. Along with this Substack, I also host the ADHD Big Brother podcast, which has been running for 4 years and ranks in the top 2% of all podcasts. If you’re looking for a structured way to start managing your ADHD, I’ve put together a free resource: The 7 Essential Podcast Episodes—a curated guide to the most impactful episodes, in an order that helps you take action. It’s a link to my first Substack post!
But let’s get to know each other in this substacky space!
And I’ll start with a question for you:
What’s one thing in your life that you can’t seem to rely on yourself to complete?
It could be:
🔹 A task that sits on your to-do list forever.
🔹 A habit you try to build but keep abandoning.
🔹 A project you want to finish but never seem to start.
🔹 Something important, but not urgent—so it never gets done.
Whatever it is, know that you’re not alone in this struggle. ADHD makes follow-through harder than it should be. But with the right support, it doesn’t have to be impossible.
Let’s get on the other end of this together: What’s that thing you keep putting off? Drop it in the comments or reply—I’d love to hear.
And let’s take this further! If people are commenting, read the other comments and rather than saying “me too” or “hard relate!” I challenge all of us to reply to comments with something actionable they have done, or they have heard works, or they think might be something to try, and share it. No matter how dumb or obvious it might be. We win by sharing! This is how adults with ADHD can get on the other end of these accountability struggles!
Here’s an example of this in action. I was on a group call recently and lamenting how hard it was for me to get myself exercising. I had a laundry list of excuses and valid sounding reasons why I couldn’t get myself moving. This is the art of putting a struggle out there and it really helps when it’s around likeminded fellow neurodivergos.
One person made a suggestion. As a grandmother, she found it fun to play on her grandkids VR headset using an app called Supernatural. I had never heard of that before and never thought to try that out…and my kids have a VR headset! This was the art of a fellow neurodivergo sharing a thing that works for them.
That night I downloaded the app and found myself immersed in glorious nature, picking music I liked, and playing. This was the art of trying something new (very easy for an adult with ADHD to try something new and novel.)
Turns out it was so much fun and I can’t remember the last time I sweated that much. It worked!
What is the accountability for this, you ask? I told this woman that I would give it a try and I was going to see her the following week and I didn’t want to say that I didn’t at least give it a try. Externalized accountability works! We do it all day/every day in the ADHD Big Brother community.
Wanna try it out in here?
What’s your current struggle that could use accountability help?