How To Pick What To Do

when everything is important/urgent/chaotic/out of control

I see this in one/one coaching, and also some folks that join ADHDBB - everything is so messed up that it’s impossible to pick what to work on. That overwhelming feeling that everything needs to be worked on is debilitating as hell.

I want to share a couple of workarounds for this. These aren’t meant to be for every time you are picking tasks. It’s meant to eliminate choice for us. Choice can be a brutal bastard for our kind of skull spaghetti. What if we pick the wrong thing? Why doesn’t any of it ‘feel right’? Why isn’t the answer clear? Forget choice. Let’s outsource choice. Here’s a couple ways to do that.

How to let fate decide on small tasks

When I have many small tasks, and I have no drive to do anything, I turn it into a fate game. I actually created a card game to make it fun for me and built it at The Game Crafters. It’s called Goal Getter. Don’t worry about buying it, that’s not important. I’ll tell you how to play a free version without points.

You put the things that you’d like to work on, on a numbered list. Then you set a timer for 10 minutes. Now roll the dice and whatever number it lands on, you work on that thing for 10 minutes. When the timer goes off, stop dead in your tracks. Go back to the list, set another timer for 10 minutes, roll another dice, and work on that thing for 10 minutes. What if it’s the same thing? I guess you are working on it for another 10 minutes! What a shitty roll! Unless it’s something you were enjoying…then rad!

I can get my entire world organized and looking so much better in 1 hour. Instead of me blabbing on and on about how good it is for an ADHDer, and novelty, and excitement of the unknown, and timers….just try it.

It’s gonna work great, or it’s gonna suck. But I guarantee you will be closer to done than if you sat in paralysis trying to figure out the right thing to work on.

How to figure out what big goal to focus on

How to know what big goal we should work on when we have big goals for every aspect of our lives and every single one is a big deal?

Do this:

Write down your specific big dream goal for each area of your life. Your health goal, finance goal, your personal goal, your career goal, your spiritual goal…what are all the goals that are overwhelming you with their enormity? Pick 3-5 of the biggest goals.

Then give them two numbers. How impactful will it be on your life if you achieved it. 1-5 it. And how easy is it to take action on right now 1 - 5 it. 1 is super difficult and 5 is super easy.

Add up the numbers for the goals and the choice is made. That’s the focus.

This doesn’t mean you are giving up your other goals, but the one you are focussing on taking daily action toward, whether it’s 2 minutes or 2 hours…that has been chosen for you, by you!

But now what?

Exactly. Just cuz you know a thing, doesn’t mean you’ll do a thing. Get an accountability partner and motivate each other. Inspire each other. Remind each other what you said you were going to focus on. Root for each other. Carry the hope for each other. Make sure they understand ADHD, better if they have it themselves, because it can take some time to build up a routine and even when the routine is built it can crumble with the flick of a dysregulated moment. Judgment-free, shame-free support during this process is mission critical.

And obviously, if you need that support, come hang out with us at ADHDBB. Hills are never as steep when you walk them with friends. Come join us and bring your goals.