How to Murder Your Notifications
An ADHD way to improve your denotificationizing skills
Let’s say, for the sake of argument, that you have some shit you want to remember to do. Actually, I don’t want to have an argument…let’s just say you have some shit to do…for funsies?
But you’re an adult with ADHD and remembering is not really your thing. So now what?
It could potentially be good advice to set a reminder on your phone to notify you a couple times. Maybe 30 minutes before the thing? Maybe at the time of the thing?
That could be good advice, but this is what I used to say all the time, myself, and what I hear plenty of in the ADHD space: “Notifications don’t work for me. I’ll just ignore them. I just swipe them away. I know myself and that’s just not something that works for me. I never look at them. I get too many so it’s all just noise.”
And then I adopted my 10 point trademarked system for notifications and you can have it for only $5000! I’m kidding!!
Here’s a way to get notifications to work for you. And please forgive my bluntness in this as I’m about to turn 50, and I have that curmudgeon growing in me. Just know that I love you, I think the world of you, and this is all coming from a place of caring. Please just add a smile and a hug to this….
Don’t listen to your bullshit brain. That sinister skull spaghetti is caked with the hardened crust of a life with ADHD….I’m guessing. I don’t personally know you. I’m going off of 4 years of being in this ADHD space and having 49.999 years of existing with it. That’s old you. Wanna try and be a new you?
Here are the steps.
Step 1. Go into the notification settings on your phone and turn notifications off for EVERY. GOD. DAMN. APP*
Step 2. The * - only keep the notifications on for things apps you need to be notified about. Do you need the facebook or instagram notifications? Aren’t we going to be on the app in 30 minutes anyway? Can’t we just get the notifications in app? What are the absolute essentials?
Step 3. And this is now where you have to reprogram a little. Create a very black and white rule with yourself that you are not allowed to swipe away a notification without looking at it and making a conscious decision about it.
This should be easier because you have murdered most of your notifications. And with that black and white rule, it will get really annoying looking at every single notification if there are many of them, so it will be much easier to go into the settings and destroy it.
This does wonders for eliminating distractions when I’m trying to focus. Yes, you can put your phone on do not disturb, but what happens when your phone is active again? All those games that want you to come home, all those social media thingies, all those random unimportant noticiations come up and the pull for possession of your mind comes alive.
Go on a notification murder spree and let me know how it goes!
Question: How many apps can you delete on your phone, and how many notifications can you murder? Here’s me:
I still have 82 apps on my phone. It could be less, but I’m cool with it.
I get notifications from only 6 apps:
iCal - I have ADHD! I need to be reminded and alerted for appointments and shtuff.
Kaiser Permanente - sure, doctor, you can notify me when it’s time for a checkup or when my labs come it.
Messages (my text message app)
Phone
SpotHero (this is when I buy parking for events - they only notify when I have purchased a spot, though, so it’s quiet most of the time and relevant when I’m using it)
WhatsApp
Your turn!
If you need extra help/support getting on the other end of the debilitations of your skull spaghetti, join ADHD Big Brother, and we’ll do it together!