Finding the Gray in a Black and White ADHD World
Episode 154 of the ADHD Big Brother Podcast. This is my response to the many failed attempts at "nuance" in my world.
In this episode, I explore "black or white" thinking and share my personal approach to finding the gray zone—aka “wiggle room”—with grace. For many ADHDers, flexibility with goals and deadlines often leads to inconsistency and procrastination, but I’m hoping to reframe this by showing how a little structure can help us get closer to our goals without feeling like failures for not being perfect. Here’s some ChatGPT summary of the episode for ya…I’m kind of addicted to ChatGPT at the moment.
Key Takeaways:
The Curse of Wiggle Room: For people with ADHD, "wiggle room" often becomes an excuse to procrastinate. When we give ourselves a range, like "finishing work between 6 and 7 pm," we tend to drift to the later time—or even beyond. Try choosing a specific time, like 6 pm, to increase the likelihood of actually stopping close to that time.
Using Black and White Thinking to Our Advantage: Instead of trying to force ourselves into a flexible “normie” approach, what if we try leaning into black-and-white commitments with a bit of grace. For example, if your goal is to stop work at 6 pm, you might end up finishing by 6:15, creating a bit of gray. This structure actually provides a better chance of sticking to goals than loose, flexible plans.
The Gray is in the Grace: In this episode, I emphasize giving yourself grace when you don’t meet your goal perfectly. The idea is to aim for a precise goal and allow a little flexibility around it to build consistent habits without beating yourself up.
Challenge for the Listener:
My challenge for this episode is to try setting specific, black-and-white time commitments for a goal you usually approach flexibly. This could be anything time-based, like a work schedule, exercise routine, or downtime. Give yourself a clear deadline (like ending work at 6 pm) to increase your odds of following through. Embrace the grace in the gray—don’t stress if you don’t hit the time perfectly, but aim to be close.
This episode is a call to embrace structure while being gentle with ourselves. Give it a try and see if it helps you create more consistency in your ADHD life! And let me know how it goes?
Do you struggle with nuance in your life?
PS - if you are struggling with your ADHD symptoms and are looking for an amazing, unique approach to getting ADHD coaching (that is way more affordable than one-one coaching!) then come join ADHD Big Brother Community Coaching! We are succeeding, doing, achieving….all the positive things!