ADHD Sucks
A personal opinion from a 50 year old with ADHD
ADHD is the worst.
ADHD is not a superpower.
ADHD absolutely feels like a disorder. Just because I say my brain is “wired different” doesn’t turn me into someone who can manage my life. It doesn’t make me personally feel any better. It frustrates me. It feels like someone saying “my cells just duplicate different.” No, that’s called a tumor, and it’s scary!
ADHD sucks.
ADHD makes the daily grind incredibly difficult.
ADHD scares me.
ADHD is who I blame for my depression. All those years of feeling like my inability to do easy, normal things made me feel like an idiot, a loser, [insert any character flaw].
Are we afraid of calling it a problem? Why? This loud effort to get on the other end of us feeling bad about ourselves seems a bit dysfunctional to me.
I will agree that it is imperative that we get out of the swamp of thinking that we have a character flaw. Absolutely. Completely agree. We have a lot to undo in how we see ourselves. We have to be cool with ourselves. I have no argument there. However, I don’t believe in swinging the pendulum so far to the other side where we pretend like we completely love ourselves and we herald our brain wiring as glorious, a true superpower, and “I wouldn’t change it for the world!”
I would! For far less than the world, I would! Oh my gosh, in a heartbeat I would. We act like if we didn’t have ADHD we’d somehow lose all our gifts. Really? I’d risk it.
There is work to be done to manage our lives, especially if we are starting from scratch. We have to learn how to operate, and the operations manual we’ve been using needs to be rewritten. We still have to get things done!
We have a lot of work to do.
And here’s some more craptastic news - ADHD will make doing that work seem impossible. Dear sweet lord what am I embracing again?! I’m laughing right now as I write this. It’s just so ridiculous!
What is so superpowery about this? Because I can do cool artistic stuff? Because I can spend an entire weekend and learn how to tap dance? Because I can spend $5000 on my “next big thing” only to realize that it was just “my next big thing.”
ADHD is dumb.
I do understand that there is a phase of ADHD where we relate to each other, it helps us feel less alone, we feel more understood, we find “our people.” Perhaps I’m past that phase and I’ve just been swimming in the sea of relatable memes and superpower reframes.
I’m not interested in liking ADHD. I’m sure as hell not embracing it. No hugs for you, ADHD. I’m interested in the “what now” part of this disorder. I’m interested in the “even though” part of it.
Even though this is quite a Debbie Downer post, I believe we can have awesome, meaningful lives…despite ADHD. We can achieve great things, even though ADHD. But you will be hard pressed to find me thanking ADHD in any acceptance speeches.
Here’s my ADHD coaching tip for you. if you are an adult with ADHD, especially learning about it late in life, I recommend spending less energy trying to make this crap seem great, and spend more energy connecting and helping, supporting and getting support from your fellow adults with ADHD; from those who understand there is work to do to manage your lives. Share ideas, strategies, and be cool with yourself during the process. Do that, and you will have people to help keep you accountable, to be motivation surrogates when you have none, to help keep you focussed on what’s important… even though.
That felt good to get off my chest. I’m now taking a 15 minute break to move around, before setting a timer for 45 minutes to do some work that I’d rather not do. Because timers are what I need to help me move forward on crappy stuff. Thanks, ADHD!
Preach it brother! One of my secret embarrassing pleasures is watching those house tidying shows where someone goes in and tidies your house. The ADHD recipients of this tidying are always so adorable and beloved by the people who are nominating them for this help. The mess is signature ADHD. The overwhelm and need for an intervention is ADHD. You can bet within a week the beautiful made over house is going to start to see the first signs of accumulation and chaos. Can we ever win against this? Makes me sad.
💯 Russ! May I call you, Russ even though we don’t know one another?
After reading this post, I am not sure how to begin to reply as your comments, observations and frustrations are so spot on.
In my personal opinion, some account holders on various platforms ‘might’ deliberately steer clear of discussing the negative aspects of ADHD’s downsides if they could potentially interfere w/an agenda of theirs that we are not privy to. 🤷🏻♀️ I also find it frustrating when I come across profiles of individuals who identify themselves as ADHD Coaches, ADHD Trainers, or Life Coaches , address neurodivergent specific issues in their posts, yet fail to include any qualifications or direct experience with ADHD. It does makes me wonder.
⏰ Okay my timer went off a while ago. Lol. So I am now going to treat myself to some mindful meditation now. 🧘🏽 (I have heard fellow ADHDers share that they couldn’t possibly sit to mediate. They may be right! Many neurotypical people feel the same way. I never thought I’d be able to! But then I learned the most misunderstood concept about meditation: there are no rules! I kid you not. There’s no such thing as a right or wrong ways to meditate. That’s the beauty of it. Pretty awesome no? I learned about the no rules part about 19 months ago through my first and only meditation app.
Meditating can be as simple as going for a five minute walk.
🚶🏽🚶♀️🚶🏻♂️Sometimes I meditate by unplugging for an hour or more, or spending time in my garden, listening to music I enjoy, picking up the phone and calling someone they miss a lot… Others may enjoy spending time on their latest hobby, shooting hoops for a while, talking their kids for an ice cream cone, playing with their cat or dog 🐶 …Meditating is really all about staying in the moment with whatever we are doing. Of course, hundreds of thoughts and ideas will flow through our minds as try to stay in the moment, but that’s true of ALL people. Even trained monks. Science has proved that as long as we are alive, we will never be able to stop the many thoughts that go through our brain 24/7.
I also enjoy guided mindful meditations whether they are for two minutes, 20 minutes or even an hour. Finding the right, Meditation teachers online and loving their style of teaching makes all the difference in the world.
Namaste.