ADHD and the Curse of the Middle
Beginning and Finishings suck...but that tasty middle?! YUM!
Show of hands, how many of you adults with ADHD get excited about a task, a project, a hobby, or a thingy-ma-jiggy, and just jump right into it?
There’s no planning. Just a loud inner declaration and an unstoppable drive to get started.
So why wouldn’t we jump?! Do we think this cliff diver did the research to know if this was a safe jump? I mean, he’s wearing cargo shorts and a long sleeve t-shirt. Me thinks this was an impulsive jump!
For me, jumping in used to look like buying all the things I thought I needed—spending way too much money because I didn’t do proper research. And thus birthed into the world is another expensive hobby. Or maybe it was diving into a new business idea because it sounded cool, and surely the world couldn’t live without it. But... I’d skip over minor details like validating the idea, creating a strategy, or ensuring I could afford the venture.
That’s just the beginning phase. What about the end?
For me, when I hit a roadblock or a tension point, I’d quit. My desire to continue would fizzle out—sometimes after a week, sometimes a month. Before I knew it, all hope and enthusiasm would go up in smoke.
This was my pattern for much of my 20s and 30s. My "solution" was to numb the frustration with alcohol, weed, or nicotine. Post-diagnosis, though, this cycle has become much more manageable. Learning the tools, strategies, and working with my fellow tribe of ADHDers for accountability was crucial.
Nowadays I don’t necessarily stop myself from leaping into the middle of things. I know who I am, and I embrace that jump—it’s fun! I love being juiced up for things. But self-awareness has made all the difference. These days, I sandwich my “middle” with a solid beginning. While I’m reveling in the excitement of the middle, I’m carving out time to create a tasty, healthy, structured start.
What does that look like? It means validating that the project aligns with my purpose, ensuring I have the budget (both emotional and literal), and clearly defining what “done” looks like.
By knowing what “done” is and confirming this endeavor fits with my goals, I’m better equipped to push through the inevitable shitty period. That’s the phase where hope disappears, desire takes a vacation, and motivation goes into witness protection. Instead of giving up, I lean into my ADHD tools and “do the work” until the joy and excitement return.
What about you? Do you find yourself stuck at the starting line, overwhelmed in the middle, or losing steam near the end? Or maybe all three? Share your stories in the comments—I’d love to hear how you navigate the highs and lows of projects with that ADHD brain of yours.